uniform drivel

The World of Mark (age 5)

Mark: "Mummy, do you know where I can get a pillow case that is white?"
E Wein: "Can I ask what you might need a white pillowcase for?"
Mark: "I'm going to make a time machine."

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Today he also asked:
"Mummy, why does there have to be gravity?"

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In other news… Shopping in Perth. What kind of crazy person would want to buy a pair of SCHOOL SHOES for an 8-YEAR-OLD in JANUARY in SCOTLAND? My God, I can feel my blood pressure rising even as I write about it. We go into the school uniform shoe shop. [cough. Clearing my throat.] We go into the SCHOOL UNIFORM SHOE SHOP, where we usually buy all our shoes, and say: "Look, Sara's shoes have holes in them. Her feet are wet. We would like some new ones. They don't have to look like these, they just have to be serviceable school shoes."*

They had ONE PAIR in her size, which looked like boy's shoes (they were clunky and ugly), and she said they hurt. We said: "Look, haven't you got ANYTHING else in her size? They don't have to be boots. Just something she can wear to school."

Salesperson: "Well, we've got these sandals." (They were black.) "And they're on sale for only £5!"

Sara: "But my feet are already wet!"

(When I repeated this story to Tim, he said in his best Eric Idle voice, "What do you mean, you don't want a piston engine? It's a bargain!")

E. Wein: "When do you get your new stock in?"

Salesperson: "I'm sorry, not till Easter."

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Sometimes it is very hard to be polite to people. Like when I can't find shoes for a child in January, or a LONG COAT FOR A CHILD IN OCTOBER, or a WOOLLY HAT FOR A CHILD IN DECEMBER (previous shopping failures). We live on the same latitude as Kodiak, Alaska. This is not a third world country; what is the DEAL????

Anyway. We didn't get any shoes in the school uniform shoe shop. We went somewhere else and managed to find something marginally more feminine (still black, still clunky) that actually covers Sara's feet.

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When Sara and Mark come out of school in their uniforms they are just hilarious; Sara in her smart blue trousers and tie and her fleece-lined bomber jacket looks like she's about to go fight the Battle of Britain, and Mark with his tie askew and his duffle coat flapping open looks like a mini John Constantine.

*Our local state school has the most formal uniform of the schools in Perth, and they have to wear black or navy shoes.