Entry tags:
shameless commercialism, reprise
"I reckon if there's anything you ought a know about cooking, it's this."
"That's just lard, ain't it?"
"No, it ain't just lard," I say. "It's the most important invention in the kitchen since jarred mayonnaise."
"What's so special about" - she wrinkles her nose at it - "pig fat?"
"Ain't pig, it's vegetable." Who in this world doesn't know what Crisco is? "You don't have a clue of all the things you can do with this here can."
She shrugs. "Fry?"
"Ain't just for frying. You ever get a sticky something stuck in your hair, like gum?" I jackhammer my finger on the Crisco can. "That's right, Crisco. Spread this on a baby's bottom, you won't even know what diaper rash is." I plop three scoops in the black skillet. "Shoot, I seen ladies rub it under they eyes and on they husband's scaly feet."
"Look how pretty it is," she says. "Like white cake frosting."
"Clean the goo from a price tag, take the squeak out a door hinge. Lights get cut off, stick a wick in it and burn it like a candle."
I turn on the flame and we watch it melt down in the pan. "And after all that, it'll still fry your chicken."
--Kathryn Stockett, The Help
...The secret ingredient to whoopie pie filling and all commercial cake frosting in the USA! I have to mail order mine. This passage must be an utter mystery to Waterstones and Tesco bookbuying readers. "Who in the world doesn't know what Crisco is?"
(I knew she was going to talk about Crisco from the first sentence. Although, to be honest, I did not use it in my own cooking till I began making whoopie pies.)
"That's just lard, ain't it?"
"No, it ain't just lard," I say. "It's the most important invention in the kitchen since jarred mayonnaise."
"What's so special about" - she wrinkles her nose at it - "pig fat?"
"Ain't pig, it's vegetable." Who in this world doesn't know what Crisco is? "You don't have a clue of all the things you can do with this here can."
She shrugs. "Fry?"
"Ain't just for frying. You ever get a sticky something stuck in your hair, like gum?" I jackhammer my finger on the Crisco can. "That's right, Crisco. Spread this on a baby's bottom, you won't even know what diaper rash is." I plop three scoops in the black skillet. "Shoot, I seen ladies rub it under they eyes and on they husband's scaly feet."
"Look how pretty it is," she says. "Like white cake frosting."
"Clean the goo from a price tag, take the squeak out a door hinge. Lights get cut off, stick a wick in it and burn it like a candle."
I turn on the flame and we watch it melt down in the pan. "And after all that, it'll still fry your chicken."
--Kathryn Stockett, The Help
...The secret ingredient to whoopie pie filling and all commercial cake frosting in the USA! I have to mail order mine. This passage must be an utter mystery to Waterstones and Tesco bookbuying readers. "Who in the world doesn't know what Crisco is?"
(I knew she was going to talk about Crisco from the first sentence. Although, to be honest, I did not use it in my own cooking till I began making whoopie pies.)
Re: tanita chuckles:
(The bakery delivered the wrong cake, sticking me with a hideous creation with blue frosting/cream cheese roses on top. However, the bride that did get my cake (in another town) said it was beautiful....)
Re: tanita chuckles:
CREAM CHEESE ROSES, eeeeee.
Re: tanita chuckles:
I agree....but I had little choice, since the baker had left before I got downstairs...
Re: tanita chuckles:
my wedding cake story is that we put the top tier in my grandmother's freezer for 10 years and actually ATE a ceremonial piece of it on our 10th wedding anniversary. It had lost some of its charm (I know for a fact that it had sat through at least one 24 hour power cut during that time). Fortunately my aunt had made another beautiful cake (a Bundt cake in a mountain landscape mould) to finish the meal with...
Re: tanita chuckles:
We kept the top of our substituted cake for only a year. Since it was Italian Cream Cake (which I abhor) I only ate a bite. That was enough!
ETA: Your gran was awesome ;o)
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I had a friend who piped a rose directly onto a cupcake last Halloween with Baileys-coffee buttercream. It was lovely and delicious. We did the rest of the cupcakes like floorboards. (Each cupcake had a cherry in the middle; they were Tell Tale Heart cupcakes.)
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